How honest have you been with yourself lately?? (In ALL areas)

If you're like me, you'd probably initially say, VERY! I'm very honest with myself...but upon closer inspection there are some hard truths that are difficult for most of us to face. Why is that? 

It kind of goes back to denial at the subconscious level...stay with me...denial shields us from the pain of the reality in front of us. If we don't face the truth of the reality in front of us, then maybe we don't have to make changes (which is incredibly hard), let go of a bad habit, bad relationship, or other unhealthy vice, situation, or pattern. 

Denial can serve as a protective strategy for us until it's no longer protective and mostly just helping us avoid reality, stay stuck, avoid needed changes, and possibly even avoid the grief process. That's WHY facing hard truths is difficult for us...well, one reason anyway. If we don't face hard truths we also can't make needed changes. And change is literally one of the HARDEST things for us to do. (No wonder our brains resist it so much) Think back to the most recent time you tried changing something in your life? How did it go? How long did it actually take for you to make some steps towards change? And, how long did it last?

I recently began working with a trainer AND nutritionist...to say that the needed changes have been hard is an UNDERSTATEMENT. At the risk of sounding dramatic, I've had to grieve a few things... it's made me face some unhealthy choices, areas of needed discipline and consistency, AND to also focus on the future of what could be if I stick with it. Changing our thoughts, our habits, and routines is not for the faint of heart HOWEVER it is worth it.

"All work is worthy work" I recently heard this quote from a mom of five and personal trainer.

Progress not perfection.
Progress not perfection.
Progress not perfection.

What work might you need to invest in? Anything coming to mind?

What does this have to do with our mental and emotional health? EVERYTHING. 

Let's go back to the original question:
How honest have you been with yourself lately?

Is there anything in your life that you're avoiding dealing with out of fear, sadness, shame, regret, or other difficult emotion attached?

If so, you're not alone. Being completely honest with ourselves takes courage because it means we might need to make some important, necessary changes to achieve the ultimate desires of our heart. Is it self-confidence? Is it inner peace? Is it letting go of an old role self from a growing up survival pattern? Is it letting yourself feel the emotions connected to a hurt, decision, or transition in your life that you've maybe been resisting experiencing?

I get it. Sometimes staying "comfortable" in the familiarity of our pain, discomfort or avoidance feels slightly better than the thought of entering the unknown with facing the truth, being honest with ourselves, feeling all the feelings and committing to change. 

Change can be both exciting and terrifying. It can be exhausting, hopeful, and painful. It can be so many things all at once. And that's okay. That's why it's great for our mental and emotional health. Learning to adapt, be flexible, and make healthy adjustments in our life is kind of the point of being a healthy adult. Healthy people face reality, make adjustments as needed, process their feelings, and keeping making progress...one moment at a time, one day at a time, one healthy decision at a time...

If you're ready to start or restart your therapy journey, I'm booking sessions for the end of April and early May! 
There are practical solutions for overcoming any suffering you have experienced, implementing needed changes, and getting support through it all. There is hope and freedom from emotional turmoil, grief, pain, shame, and hopelessness. 
I provide EMDR therapy & EMDR intensives for clients located in FL | MO | SC. Let’s get your nervous system regulated so you can move out of surviving into thriving. It’s possible.


EMDR Intensive Therapy = Symptom Relief Sooner
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Let's expedite your healing journey so you can live life fully!

"Whatever we resist persists" - Carl Yung & most every recovery program literature...because it's true. 
Temporarily pushing out of our mind and heart the very thing that needs our attention feels helpful in the short term...however, it will pop up at some point packing an extra punch, unfortunately. A lot of times we rely on the survival skill of denial and minimizing (our situation, stress, pain, or sadness) to convince ourselves that the thing that REALLY needs our attention isn't-that-big-of-a-deal...or perhaps we use the famous minimization strategy for our suffering situation by saying "it's not that bad, someone else has it worse" or "my situation isn't anything like so and so's"...all ways to keep our difficult, painful, sad, distressing, or shameful situation a little further away from us so we don't lean in to the required attention, care, and support the situation really deserves...that WE really deserve (And, typically, we *learned* this response in our childhood by observing how our caregivers gave attention to or didn't give attention to the hurts, pains, disappointments, and struggles we endured)
Whatever we resist, PERSISTS. 
Whatever we resist, PERSISTS.
Whatever we resist, PERSISTS.
Why? 
Because we spend A LOT more effort, energy, and focus on RESISTING that thing versus the energy to simply turn and face the thing we've been avoiding/resisting. Now, I don't say that tritely like it will be easy to face that thing, HOWEVER, it's a part of surrender and acceptance that actually begins to feel like a little bit of relief once we decide to stop running, resisting, and avoiding...because that can be exhausting.
Once we can look that thing in the face, give language to our experience, and determine the steps to work through it...we're now in a healthy use of our energy and resources (mentally and emotionally) to reduce the impact of that thing. Remember we feel, to deal, to heal...but we can't begin to feel if we haven't yet paused to give language to the hurt, pain, sadness, insecurity, fear, or other looming emotional experience that has been waiting for our attention.
What are common situations we may resist or avoid facing simply because it feels too hard and heavy?
- A broken relationship situation (a break-up, going no contact with a loved one or friend, or a divorce)
- A job loss, unwanted career or employment transition, or the loss of a dream connected to work/career (grief is the natural, healthy way we process through any type of loss...if we avoid the grief needed to process the loss in a healthy way, we also are delaying the healing and wholeness that can be found on the otherside)
- Patterns of choosing toxic or unhealthy people or situations (whatever we resist in the way of inspecting our patterns will only prolong our suffering, deepen our wounds, and continue a cycle of pain/insecurity)
- Prolonged exposure to an unsafe, toxic, abusive, or highly stressful work, family, or community environment (our bodies switch instinctively to fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode and most of the time we aren't consciously aware of it so we don't know the depths of survival we are actually in...once we are able to leave that environment and start some healing work, and when we feel truly safe again, then can we start addressing the deep emotional experience that went largely unaddressed so we could simply survive the chaos of the situation)
- A relapse, anger outburst, or other unwanted behavior response that has created deep shame, pain, and sadness. (If we leave these wounds unattended, they will only fester and we suffer immensely...whatever we turn and face puts us back in the position of empowerment which builds confidence and a healthy sense of security)
- Moving out of an area we previously called home (the mounting overwhelm that comes from having to leave what's comfortable and familiar and then literally having to trailblaze in a new area, with new people, and all new everything...there's an emotional toll there that often can get looked over)
Do any of these circumstances evoke some emotion for you? If so, what would your life look like if you chose to put your energy into facing and dealing with the situation instead of resisting and avoiding? Have you considered the positive impact to your mental, emotional, and physical well-being if you attend to the situation versus avoid it? 
Remember, there is hope and healing is possible. You can do it with support and help. If you're looking for a local community group for support, I highly recommend Celebrate Recovery. You can find a location near you by following this link:
https://crlocator.com/
If you're ready to start or restart therapy, send me a direct email at:
[email protected]
There are practical solutions for overcoming any suffering you have experienced. There is hope and freedom from emotional turmoil, grief, pain, shame, and hopelessness. 
I provide EMDR therapy & EMDR intensives for clients located in FL | MO | SC. Let’s get your nervous system regulated so you can move out of surviving into thriving. It’s possible.
***Reminder***
EMDR Intensive Therapy = Symptom Relief Sooner
What symptoms would you love to see some relief from?
Let's work together and help you feel, to deal, to HEAL.
Check out my website for all the details:
www.inspiredhope.life

And check out my FAQ page for any questions.

I'm cheering for you!
- Brittni Kelchner, LMHC, LPC
P.S - Share with a friend or loved one who may need some encouragement and hope for their situation. 

100% Virtual EMDR Intensives in FL, MO, and SC​
Hope & healing are possible!

Whatever is FIRED together is WIRED together

Thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and body sensations... what has been firing together in your brain and body? It can be positive or negative, helpful or distressing, a new narrative or an old one...

Did you know that whatever is fired together is wired together in our brain and bodies?

If you’re an ACOA, adult child of an alcoholic or dysfunctional family of origin, then you may understand this unspoken family rule - “don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel” Growing up if we weren’t allowed to use our voice to express our thoughts and needs, trust ourselves or others, or express our feelings, this becomes hard wired in our brain and body that it’s not safe to speak up and acknowledge and meet our own needs. This turns into a survival strategy so we can make it in our family of origin. Then typically we look up one day and realize things aren’t working in our lives and/or our relationships are painful and possibly traumatic. Sometimes it takes coming to this realization that things just aren’t working that leads us to further inspect why and get help. Maybe help comes in the form of working a program or going to therapy or opening up to a safe person about our internal struggles. This is so powerful. Once we acknowledge our lives are unmanageable or just simply not going the way we had hoped, we can begin to learn new, healthy strategies to relate to ourselves and others.

This is where EMDR therapy can be so life changing. We can identify the negative core beliefs associated with the growing up motto of “don’t talk, don’t trust, don’t feel” and begin doing the healing work needed through the EMDR process to rewire the brain and body. This process allows our neural networks to undo the old patterns of connecting and make new ones that are healthy and helpful. Essentially, we undo the old and make way for the new. How amazing is that?! Our brain literally creates new pathways! This leads to healing and transformation.

And the amazing thing with doing EMDR intensives, we can see results quickly through condensed sessions and focused attention on the unwanted symptoms, feelings, or body sensations.

EMDR Intensive Therapy = Symptom Relief Sooner

Email me at: [email protected] to get scheduled for your consultation session.

I'm cheering for you!
- Brittni Kelchner, LMHC, LPC, EMDR Certified Therapist
100% Virtual EMDR Intensives in FL, MO, and SC

Hope & healing are possible!
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