Hope & Healing IS possible!
Inspired Hope Counseling provides 100% virtual EMDR intensives in Florida, Missouri, & South Carolina.
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Have you considered EMDR therapy or EMDR intensives but felt you didn't have "trauma" to unpack? I'm here to dismantle the myth that you must have endured some BIG trauma in your past or present to reap the benefits from EMDR therapy. Are you interested in an improved outlook on life? On reducing some feelings of anxiety, depression, or "not good enough-ness"? Or what about courage and confidence to pursue your dreams? How about reducing feelings of shame or overwhelm? EMDR therapy can help!
At the core process of EMDR therapy, we are identifying negative core beliefs (and fears, insecurities), then identifying positive core beliefs you would like to believe about yourself, your situation, and your future. Then through the eight phases of EMDR therapy, we are able to resolve the negative core beliefs and fully instill the adaptive, positive beliefs. Sounds pretty amazing, right? Well, it is! Keep reading for how we will help you and the process we use to achieve the positive healing. Do you have a strain in some of your relationships? Are you noticing a pattern of response or reaction that is creating distress for you? Are you struggling with certain anxiety or depression triggers and you aren't sure what the cause is? Or do you struggle with performance at work or with a sport/hobby/extracurricular activity? Have you ever felt your body respond in a fight/flight/freeze/fawn way? All of these can be connected to beliefs you may be subconcsiously holding and through EMDR we can identify the source, and, resolve the present day distressing beliefs, feelings, and body sensations (ie - pit in the stomach, tightness in the chest, lump in the throat, clenched jaw, neck tension, etc) Negative core beliefs that might resonate with you: I'm a failure I'm unworthy I'm unlovable I'm abandoned I have to be in control I'm bad I'm helpless I'm responsible for everything I'm hopeless I'm alone I'm not safe I'm trapped It's not safe to feel I'm defective If you resonate with one or several, you're in good company. Prior to healing, most of us relate to at least a couple of these negative core beliefs. There could be any number of reason why you may be currently living with these negative belief systems. With EMDR therapy we will move you from the above negative core beliefs to something more adaptive and positive like the following: I did the best I could I am worthy I'm lovable I can survive, exist, & get my needs met I can let go of some control I can accept myself I can control what I can I can recognize appropriate responsibility I am safe I'm okay as I am I can begin to learn when & how to ... I can recognize what I can & can't control Aren't these SO much better?! The reality is you may not belief the latter list to be true yet; however, with EMDR therapy, we WILL get you there. That's through the amazing process of EMDR. I offer EMDR intensives, and Adjunct EMDR therapy for those individuals currently working with a primary talk therapist. (For instance if you are working with a talk therapist currently but perhaps you feel stuck or at the max benefit that the talk therapy can provide, you can meet with me for EMDR adjunct therapy. We'll identify the targets you would like to address and resolve and we'll get started with the EMDR process & you can still attend your talk therapy sessions for support) And, if you're reading this and you're a therapist feeling stuck with a client's progress or how to help your client further, I work with clinicians by providing EMDR intensives to your client as adjunct therapy. The client still can meet with you to process and gain support and they'll see me to complete the EMDR intensives. It's a powerful catalyst for growth, healing, and change! I enjoy helping my clients move from the negative to positive core beliefs. As well as, helping them overcome destructive habits, fears, insecurities, past wounds, unresolved core issues, and, learn to thrive in their communication, boundaries, and relationships. I understand the power held in each client finding their voice, sharing their voice, and living life authentically. If you grew up in a family where addiction, codependency, mental health issues, betrayal, or dysfunction were present, it's common to struggle to relate and connect authentically with others. There is healing and hope for this! Questions to consider: What would your life be like if you were free from the above barriers/fears/insecurities/struggles mentioned? What would be possible for you? What if you felt more empowered to take care of yourself, stand up for your needs/wants, and you felt free to communicate openly? What if you were able to reduce feelings of anxiety, depression, regret, and shame? Did you know it's possible? What's at stake if you don't get healing and invest the time now for your mental and emotional well-being? I offer two different, expedited EMDR therapy packages: One-day, weekday EMDR Intensive (typically offered on a Monday, Thursday, or Friday)
Let's get you started on this expedited healing journey! EMDR therapy = Symptom relief sooner. If you're ready to get started on your EMDR intensive healing journey, please email me directly at: brittni@inspiredhope.life It’s courageous to reach out for help! And, hope and healing are absolutely possible! I look forward to hearing from you. - Brittni Harris-Kelchner, LMHC, LPC, MCAP - 100% Virtual EMDR Intensives EMDR Intensive Therapist | Florida | Missouri | South Carolina IG: @inspiredhopecounseling
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Adult Children of Alcoholics, Addicts, & Dysfunctional Families
Trait #11: "We judge ourselves harshly and have a very low sense of self-esteem" “Who could have his home burglarized and feel like he or she did something wrong? An adult child. Who could feel guilty about asking a cashier to correct a mistake when the cashier handed back incorrect change? An adult child. Before recovery, most adult children assume they are wrong whatever the situation might be. If a mistake is made on the job, the adult child takes repsonsibility for it. If someone feels upset, we think we might have done something to cause the feelings in another. On the flip side we can blame others and avoid taking responsibility for our errors or poor behavior. We can judge ourselves harshly and place blame on ourselves and others willingly when such blame is not necessary. Because of our shaming childhoods, adult children doubt and blame themselves in a knee-jerk reaction that is predictable and consistent yet rarely observed until recovery is encountered. We react instead of thinking about options and then acting. The guilty feelings we encounter when standing up for ourselves have their roots in not being allowed to ask for what we needed as children. Judging ourselves harshly comes from abusive and hypercritical parents. As children, we went without basic needs or praise. We were vulnerable children, but we were shamed when we expressed a legitimate need. "You are so selfish," our parents said. "Do you ever think of anyone else but yourself? Do you think I am made of money?" As adults, we remember such interactions with our parents. We refeel the pain of being dismissed or shamed when speaking up for a want or need. As adults, many of us avoid asking for what we need to avoid old pain. Others manipulate to get what they think they want. They are unhappy a lot. Even when we get what we think we want, we realize it is not enough again." - ACA Big Red Book, pgs.15 Do you relate to this trait? As a therapist specializing in Adult Children of Alcoholics, we will work together to discover the roots of maladaptive coping patterns, fears, insecurities, trauma, and shame. Help, hope, and healing are possible! I'm a licensed clinician providing 100% telehealth in the states of Missouri, Florida, & South Carolina. I'd love to hear from you! Text or call today to setup your 10-15 minute complimentary consultation call: 561-501-1996. I'm cheering for you! Brittni  From the Daily Reader: Days of Healing. Days of Joy; Daily Meditations for Adult Children.
I appreciate that this reading so adequately explains what many of us grew up with - deep rooted FEAR. Not that this is good news per se; however, it does normalize and valildate our experiences. No wonder we've lived in fear for almost everything in our lives. We constantly grew up with a lack of safety, security, and certainty with anything. Fear was actually a survival mechanism employed to help us stay safe and two or three steps ahead of danger or any perceived threat. Does fear or loneliness seem to be second nature to you? Know that this does not have to be a life sentence. The work of therapy can be incredibly fruitful and freeing from the bonds of these survival skills. As a therapist specializing in Adult Children of Alcoholics, Addicts, & Dysfunctional families, we will work together to discover the roots of maladaptive coping patterns, trauma, fear, pain, and shame. Help, hope, and healing are possible! I'm a licensed clinician providing 100% telehealth in the states of Missouri, Florida, & South Carolina. I'd love to hear from you! Text or call today to setup your 10-15 minute complimentary consultation call: 561-501-1996. I'm cheering for you! Brittni brittni@inspiredhope.life IG: @inspiredhopecounseling Adult Children of Alcoholics, Addicts, & Dysfunctional Families
Trait #8: "We became addicted to excitement" "Either way, excitement or fear, adult children use both to mimic the feeling of being alive when in reality they are recreating a scene from their family of origin. Gossip, dramatic scenes, pending financial failure, or failing health are often the turmoil that adult children create in their lives to feel connected to reality. While such behavior is rarely stated as such, these behaviors are an "addiction" to excitement or fear. Because we were raised in chaotic or controlling homes, our internal compass is oriented toward excitement, pain, and shame. This inner world can be described as an "inside drug store". The shelves are stocked with bottles of excitement, toxic shame, self-hate, self-doubt, and stress...As odd as it sounds, we can seek out situations so we can experience a "hit" of one of these inner drugs. We can create chaos to feel excitement. Or, we procrastinate on the job to feel stress. Before ACA, we picked relationships that triggered our childhood unrest because it felt normal to be upset, persecuted, or shamed. During these moments, we thought we felt alive with excitement, but in reality, we were staying just ahead of our aching childhood. Our actions as adults represent our addiction to excitement and a variety of inner drugs created to survive childhood. Many of our repressed feelings have actually been changed into inner drugs that drive us to harm ourselves or others...Without ACA, we can view emotionally healthy people as boring or confusing." - ACA Big Red Book, pgs.15-16 Do you relate to some of this? As a therapist specializing in Adult Children of Alcoholics, Addicts, & Dysfunctional families, we will work together to discover the roots of maladaptive coping patterns, trauma, and shame. Help, hope, and healing are possible! I'm a licensed clinician providing 100% telehealth in the states of Missouri, Florida, & South Carolina. I'd love to hear from you! www.inspiredhope.life Text or call today to setup your 10-15 minute complimentary consultation call: 561-501-1996. I'm cheering for you! Brittni brittni@inspiredhope.life  This one statement brings SO much freedom & validation to my clients when we start unpacking the traits of Adult Children of Alcoholics, Addicts, & Dysfunctional family units.
See, this "inner critic" is typically the voice of a parent, step-parent, grandparent, or other caregiver present for your growing up, developmental years. If you pause & think about it right now, who is the person in your family of origin who was always passing judgment/criticism/shame to others? It might've sounded something like one, some, or all of these phrases: - You never get it right. - You're stupid. - I wish you were more like _______. - I wish you were never born. - You're an embarrassment to me. - What's wrong with you? - I don't love you. - I love you (but then the person is abusive verbally/emotionally/ physically/etc - so the message of I love you is completely overwritten) - I knew you couldn't do it. - You always mess up. - You're such a baby. - You're weak. - You're _______ (insert any derogatory phrase or curse worse) - No one will love you. - If you only listened to my advice you'd have gotten it right. Or, the other way "inner critic" thoughts are "projected" onto us is if the parent or caregiver fails to provide us with love, tenderness, care, or healthy attention when we were hurting physically or emotionally or when we needed to talk & be open. Look at how you may be judging, criticizing, or shaming/blaming others in your life. Typically, we judge, shame, & criticize others to the degree we do it to ourselves. This can be a sobering thought. The good news? This can change! Hope & healing are possible! I'd love to hear from you if you're interested in confronting your inner critic & gaining internal peace & increased compassion for yourself. It's possible! Call or text me today to schedule your complimentary, consultation call: 561-501-1996. I provide 100% telehealth therapy in the states of Florida, Missouri, & South Carolina! You're worth it & you CAN do it!! I'm cheering for you! - Brittni Facebook & Instagram: @inspiredhopecounseling  This is a great question. The fact that you're asking it means you're curious about the impact of your growing up life on your present day life. It's okay to wonder if help, change, and hope are available.
Awareness that something is off is a great thing. It means we are stepping out of a protective mechanism called denial. When we become aware of something we can then do something we the issue, concern, or problem at hand. I recommend checking out my other blogpost where I talk about the traits of an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, Addict, and/or Dysfunctional family unit: www.inspiredhope.life/inspired-hope-blog If you resonate with some or all of the traits listed, I'd recommend picking up the book: Adult Children of Alcoholics by Janet Woititz. If you're interested in unpacking how your past family of origin dynamics are playing out in the present, I'd love to complete a complimentary consultation call with you. There is hope and healing is possible! I'm cheering for you! - Brittni ACOA & EMDR Therapist Virtual/Telehealth therapy in Florida Missouri @inspiredhopecounseling  If you haven't yet picked up the ACA Big Red Book (Adult Child of an Alcoholic/Addict/Dysfunctional family), I'd HIGHLY recommend you doing so! It's filled with a weatlh of information that unpacks what the ACA or ACOA traits are and the solutions for overcoming and working through them. It's a powerful resource and I think every ACA individual should read it. With this in mind, here's an excerpt from pg. 22 from the ACA Big Red Book regarding how we "Internalize Our Parents": "Family dysfunction is a disease that affects everyone in the family. Taking a drink is not necessary to be affected. This is an ACA axiom, and it serves as a basis for our First Step. The effects of growing up in a dysfunctional family force us to develop survival traits that are known as The Laundry List (Problem). Since the disease of family dysfunction is generational, these traits also represent the internalization of our parents' behavior. As much as we would like to deny it, we have become our parents... We used denial to forget our pledge and the fact that we had internalized our parents. Denial is the glue that holds together a dysfunctional home. Family secrets, ignored feelings, and predictable chaos are part of a dysfunctional family system. The system allows abuse or other unhealthy behaviors to be tolerated at harmful levels. Through repetition, the abuse is considered normal by those in the family. Because the dysfunction seemed normal or tolerable, the adult child can deny that anything unpleasant happened in childhood. At the same time, there are many adult children who can recount the horrors of their dysfunctional upbringing in great detail. Yet, many do so without feeling or without connecting the deep sense of loss that each event brought. This is a denial of feelings identified in Trait 10 of the The Laundry List (Problem). These forms of denial allow the adult child to sanitize the family story when talking about the growing-up years. Denial can also lead us to believe that we have escaped our family dysfunction when we carried it into adulthood. Step One of the Twelve Steps states that we are "powerless over the effects" of growing up in a dysfunctional family. The Step calls us to admit that our behavior today is grounded in the events that occurred in childhood. Much of that behavior mirrors the actions and thoughts of the dysfunctional parents, grandparents, or caregivers. Once we come out of denial, we realize we have internalized our parents' behavior. We have internalized their perfectionism, control, dishonesty, self-righteousness, rage, pessimism, and judgmentalness..." Did you resonate with some or all of this excerpt? Know that if you did, first of all, you're not alone. And, second of all, there is help available to overcome and work through the past! Overcoming denial is THE hardest part. So, if you're willing to admit this excerpt connects with you, congratulations!! It means you're stepping over denial into truth. This takes extreme courage, humility, and willingness. I remind my clients, if you have these qualities, that's all you need to begin this great healing journey that therapy offers. Are you ready to start the healing journey? Call or text: 561.501.1996 to schedule your complimentary fifteen-minute consultation call. I can't wait to speak with you! 2021 can be your best year yet! There is HOPE! I'm cheering for you! - Brittni brittni@inspiredhope.life Facebook & IG: @inspiredhopecounseling  Happiness is similarly defined in nature to contentment, satisfaction, and cheerfulness. But for most Adult Children of Alcoholics, Addicts, or Dysfunctional Families, experiencing happiness has never happened and seems very much like a lost cause. When we haven't experienced something, we really have no blueprint for how it could be or that it is even a possibility. It seems and feels quite impossible.
I bring good news as we have fully ushered in 2021. Anything truly IS possible! With that said, possibilities arise when we start looking at our options, considering change, and stepping out of denial into the truth of our circumstances. Is this you? Have you been contemplating what you think, feel, need, want, or desire to be the BEST version of yourself? If so, you're in the right place! One of the things I love about being a therapist is helping encourage and support newness in the lives of my clients. Why is hard to make needed changes? Because it involves loss. Loss of the old way of thinking and behaving. When loss is present for us, it naturally trips the trigger for grief in our lives. Grief looks like denial, anger, sadness, bargaining, and depression. These are normal. We are saying goodbye to a lack of discipline, something; saying goodbye to a life lived perhaps in fear, rigidity, perfectionism, control, and any other method of behaving and surviving the harshness that can sometimes be our world. If any of this rings true for you, and you are an Adult Child of an Alcoholic, Addict, and Dysfunctional Family, I'd encourage to purhcase the book pictured above. It's the Big Red Book for ACA - Adult Children of Alcoholics, Addicts, and Dysfunctional Families. I believe it will help validate and normalize some or all of your life experiences, and, it will introduce you to solutions for moving through the hurt, pain, and dysfunction of the past. I'm not saying it will be easy but I promise you it's worth it. I'm cheering for you as you start your journey towards contentment and satisfaction. Healing IS possilbe! If you're looking to begin therapy to address the past in order to heal the present, I'd love to speak with you on a complimentary, fifteen-minute consultation call. Text/call: 561.501.1996. Cheers to change, growth, and healing in 2021! - Brittni Harris, LMHC, EMDR Therapist  Have you ever felt like you revert to a child like state when you have been emotionally triggered in the present? When a person, place, or situation seemingly sends you back in time to feeling helpless, confused, trapped, or powerless? If so, this typically indicates there are unresolved childhood wounds causing a "reaction" in the present.
This book, Healing the Child Within, is an excellent resource for any adult child of an alcoholic, addict, or dysfunctional family unit. This book helps unpack how when trauma, pain, and wounds go unaddressed from childhood, deep pockets of emotional turmoil are created. Here's an excerpt from the book: "When this Child Within is not nurtured or allowed freedom of expression, a false or co-dependent self emerges. We begin to live our lives from a victim stance, and experience difficulties in resolving emotional traumas". Struggling with decision making or codependency is not something to be ashamed of; in fact, it's typically a sign of great survival strength. You survived, you endured your childhood/adolescence, now, it's time to learn how to let go of anything that is not moving you towards your goals. This is possible! If this sounds like something you'd like to explore in your own life, I'd love to journey with you towards healing and wholeness. Reach out for complimentary consultation. I'm cheering for you! - Brittni brittni@inspiredhope.life  I wholeheartedly adore the work and writings done by one of my favorite authors, Brene Brown - to use a little play on words if you're familiar with her work on "Wholehearted" living.
In her book, "The Gifts of Imperfection", she highlights the importance of surrendering our need for control, our need for attaining the status of perfection, and ultimately surrendering the facades we've carried around as a survival tool to help control how other people perceive us. Why is this important you ask? Well, for most adult children of alcoholics, addicts, and dysfunctional families, perfectionism has been a survival tool, or survival coping strategy, to help protect against rejection and abandonment. It's quite the survival skill; it can be downright overwhelming to confront and change. But, like it's said in the rooms of many fellowship programs, when the pain gets great enough, and, it will at some point, carrying the weight of this burden called perfectionism, you'll find yourself motivated for change. This is why Brene's book is so powerful. It helps explain the "why" behind the "what" of perfectionism. It helps make sense of this characteristic that most children of dysfunctional families have had to fully embrace to survive emotionally. Like I always say, we give honor to these survival skills; however, as an adult, we get to make new, healthy decisions for ourselves. This includes letting go of patterns of behaving that no longer serve us. The good news, there really is a gift in the imperfection. It's a gift to be able to let things go, let people go, and simply focus on the present. On simplicity, on our own thoughts, feelings, needs, and desires. Here's a quote from Brene's book, "The Gifts of Imperfection": "Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we will ever do". Are you ready to begin the journey of owning your story and loving yourself? If so, I'd love to help you navigate your healing journey. And, in the meantime, go pick up the book "The Gifts of Imperfection". You'll be glad you did! - Brittni brittni@inspiredhope.life 561.501.1996 |
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