This one statement brings SO much freedom & validation to my clients when we start unpacking the traits of Adult Children of Alcoholics, Addicts, & Dysfunctional family units.
See, this "inner critic" is typically the voice of a parent, step-parent, grandparent, or other caregiver present for your growing up, developmental years. If you pause & think about it right now, who is the person in your family of origin who was always passing judgment/criticism/shame to others? It might've sounded something like one, some, or all of these phrases:
- You never get it right.
- You're stupid.
- I wish you were more like _______.
- I wish you were never born.
- You're an embarrassment to me.
- What's wrong with you?
- I don't love you.
- I love you (but then the person is abusive verbally/emotionally/ physically/etc - so the message of I love you is completely overwritten)
- I knew you couldn't do it.
- You always mess up.
- You're such a baby.
- You're weak.
- You're _______ (insert any derogatory phrase or curse worse)
- No one will love you.
- If you only listened to my advice you'd have gotten it right.
Or, the other way "inner critic" thoughts are "projected" onto us is if the parent or caregiver fails to provide us with love, tenderness, care, or healthy attention when we were hurting physically or emotionally or when we needed to talk & be open.
Look at how you may be judging, criticizing, or shaming/blaming others in your life. Typically, we judge, shame, & criticize others to the degree we do it to ourselves. This can be a sobering thought.
The good news? This can change! Hope & healing are possible! I'd love to hear from you if you're interested in confronting your inner critic & gaining internal peace & increased compassion for yourself. It's possible! Call or text me today to schedule your complimentary, consultation call: 561-501-1996. I provide 100% telehealth therapy in the states of Florida, Missouri, & South Carolina!
You're worth it & you CAN do it!! I'm cheering for you!
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